Killing Dylan
by It's Fnicking Awesomeness
Summary: For all you Dylan haters out there! Want to read about Dylan enduring painful deaths? Then this story is for you! Rating for blood and gore... Dylan's blood and gore. Yay! OFF HIATUS
1. Razor Wire and The Flammable Jelly

**A/N: Me: So I think this will be my favorite story I have written yet!**

**Fang: Me too!**

**Me: It's all about Dylan dying in several, very painful ways!**

**Fang: Like we said, best story yet.**

**Me: If you're a Dylan lover, don't read! I'll do like two, maybe three deaths a chapter, 'cause they're really short. Oh, and you horror fans should find some, or possibly all, of these… **_**traps**_**familiar. First reviewer to get it right gets a shout out and some virtual food!**

**Fang: Is it edible?**

**Me: Ah… no.**

**Fang: Darn.**

**Me: *shrug* Fact: I do 250 crunch type exercises every other night, and I have partially visible abs. Yes, I am a girl, and yes, I could probably kick many guys' butts that I know. **

**Fang: Not me! :P**

**Me: … Some day Fang… someday….**

Dylan POV

I woke up in a dark room. I felt cold concrete below me, and it was very cold around me. I realized I only had on boxer shorts- where are my clothes?

As I sat up, I heard a deep gravelly voice say, "Your futile attempt to take your own life the other day was pathetic, Dylan. The only way for you to recompense is to potentially experience the loss of your life. You have an hour. Do you have the will to live, Dylan?"

I was really scared now. Who was this psycho, and what did he want me to do?

Lights came on, blinding me for a second. After blinking a couple times, I saw rows and rows of… was that rusty barbed wire? It probably went on for fifty yards. At the end of it I saw a partially open door.

I started to panic when I heard the ticking of a clock. I looked wildly around, and saw a timer on the wall to my right. 59:50.

I was hyperventilating as I considered my options. Stay here, and with my enhanced DNA hope that I survive long enough to be found? Or risk the barbed wire to escape now? 59:30. Wait… with my healing spit, I could fix any cuts from the wire!

That thought cheered me up, and I started towards the wire. I climbed through the first row, wincing when it cut me.

In the little room between rows, I half stood up and started to heal myself. There was a lot of blood, I was having trouble healing! I tried to slow my breathing and heart rate. The bleeding decreased a little, but the cuts were still open.

I tried to squash my worry as I climbed through the next row. I got cut more. and now I wasn't healing at all. Oh fudge. 50:49.

I went into overdrive. I tore through the wires, not caring when I felt myself get oozy from blood loss. I was half way there. 45:18.

I was about two-thirds toi the door when I collapsed. I fell, slicing more of my face on wire. I saw a pool of blood surrounding me. There was also a clear liquid coming from my abdomen. It stung a little. Stomach acid.

The last thing I saw was a squeaky tricycle roll in. On it was a puppet. It laughed a demonic laugh, and then everything was dark.

****

Dylan POV

I woke up on cold concrete. I was being cut all over, but I don't know what was doing it. My entire back was cut all over. I had no clothes on- only boxers. The room was pitch black. No light what so ever. I sat up, felling dizzy and nauseous.

Out of hidden speakers came a voice. It was deep and raspy. "You faking an illness with your flock? Hm. Not worthy to be healthy, I think. Let's see if you have the will to survive this. There is an unlit candle and a box of matches next to your right foot. There is a slow acting poison in your blood. It will kill you in four hours. The antidote is in a safe behind you. The combination is somewhere on the walls of this chamber. Use the candle to see it. Oh, and the floor is covered in broken glass, and your body is covered in a highly flammable liquid. One misstep, and you'll go up in flames. Good luck, Dylan."

W.T.F.? Well, the broken glass explains my cut up back. But that's the least of my worries. I reached around for the candle and matches. I bumped against a lot of the glass, but finally I felt a small cylinder and a small box. Trembling, I lit a match and held it to the candle, careful to keep it away from my body. As the candle flamed up, I looked around me in horror.

Every square inch of the 10 cubic foot cell was cover in numbers! Literally. There were tens of thousands of numbers. And three were the combination? I hyperventilated, causing the candle to sputter.

I started at the top of the wall right in front of me. I went through the whole wall. I relit my candle three times. 9 matches left. With my enhanced speed, it took me an hour and a half. I was very panicked. I needed to go faster to find the combo in time!

I started on the wall to my right. I leaned in for a closer look at the numbers on the wall. I realized my mistake a millisecond too slow. My bare chest burst into flame.

I started screaming. It hurt so much! The flames rapidly spread to my other body parts. I ran in circles, trying to beat out the flames. By this time, my whole torso was on fire, and it was starting on my arms and legs.

In a few minutes, all I could do was fall onto the ground, slowly being incinerated. I raised my eye to the wall for the last time, and saw the blinking of a video camera in the far corner. How ironic. I had always wanted to be in TV, was my last coherent thought.

**A/N: Me: Yay! If that doesn't cheer you up, nothing will!**

**Fang: Yup! Nothing like a good old dead Dylan. The **_**only**_** good Dylan.**

**Me: Ya got that right! Fist bump!**

**Fang: *turkey***

**Me: Fang! What are you, eight?**

**Fang: *nods seriously***

**Me: Ugh! I can't get anywhere with this boy! Fact: I really do say things like Ugh! in real life. 'I leave in a huff!' 'Epic fail' and 'No. Never. Again.' are my most used ones probably.**

**Fang: She's a very sarcastic person.**

**Me: Oh, and you're not?**

**Fang: Nope. Never! *innocence***

**Me: *eye roll* Take your innocence and shove it u-**

**MooMoo: We'll take this time to ask you to review! Hehheh….**

**Rawr: So… yeah… review please! Tell us if it's worth continuing!**


	2. Reverse Bear Trap and The Drill Chair

**A/N: Me: Yay! You like my story! You really like it!**

**Fang: 5 reviews on the first chapter is a record for us!**

**Me: Yup! And don't worry, there's like… hold on… counting… 41 more deaths! So, like, 20 more chapters!**

**Fang: Oh, YES! HAHAHA DIE DYLAN DIE HAHAHA!**

**Me: O.o**

**Fang: *cough* Heh heh… I guess I have some built up rage….**

**Me: Okkkkaaaaayyyyy. And no one has guessed which movie these traps are from! Come on! You can do it!**

**Rawr: We believe in you!**

**MooMoo: Do it for the free virtual food!**

**Fang: What the-? Would you guys get out of here?**

**Me: Fang! Be nice! They're in this too! Fact: My favorite cartoons are SpongeBob, Chowder, and MAD. Whoo go Nick and Cartoon Network!**

Dylan POV

I slowly opened my eyes. I was sitting on a chair, but I couldn't move my arms. And my head felt heavy.

As I gained awareness of my surroundings, I realized I was taped, probably duck taped, to the chair. And I had some sort of rusty, heavy metal contraption hooked onto my upper and lower jaws. My eyes bugged out, and I think my heart skipped a beat.

I looked around. I was in a small, dim room. To my right was… oh god… was that a… dead body? I threw up a little in my mouth.

My attention was drawn to the TV in front of me. It was a creepy looking puppet, looking right at me. It started to talk.

"You're habit of injecting yourself with drugs is ridiculous." it said. "You are tempting death, and now I will show it to you. You only have a short time to live. Think of the machine on your jaws like a… reverse bear trap. Once you get off the chair, you have one minute to get the key to unlock it. I'll give you a hint. It's in your dead friend over there." The puppet stopped talking, and a video came on. It was of a test dummy with the same contraption on that I had. I watched in horror as it snapped open, the dummy's head exploding. Oh goody.

I quickly ripped the duck tape off, and stood up. I heard a quiet _click_ and the ticking of a clock. I ran over to the body. Oh no… oh god no… it was Max! **(A/N: Fang: B? WHAT THE HECK? DYLAN'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! Me: Relax. He doesn't know it, but it's a clone. Fang: Oh. Okay. Continue.)**

If she was already dead…. I looked around, the metal on my head making it difficult to move. I saw a glint of metal- a scalpel. I grabbed it and reached to cut into… her stomach.

I made the first cut, and she moved. She moved! She groaned, and blinked blearily up at me.

She wasn't dead! I dropped the scalpel. "Max! Are you okay?" I asked her. She looked up at me, and flinched at the metal around my head.

Oh shoot! I reached around, trying to figure out how to get it off. The clock was ticking faster and faster. Oh no! I needed to get this off! I needed to-

The ticking stopped, the trap sprang open, and my head was ripped apart.

****

Dylan POV

I came to felling a bit woozy. I couldn't tell where I was. I was laying down, but I wasn't fully upright. I tried to lift my head up, but I couldn't. I frowned, and pulled harder. Nothing.

I fully opened my eyes for the first time. I was in… a warehouse of some kind. I was strapped down at my ankles, knees, waist, chest, and head. I was gagged with a rag. Weirdly, my arms were free.

I lifted them up, not without some difficulty, and felt around.

I screamed silently. If I was… feeling… right, there were two drills, 4 inches away, pointed straight at my temples! I blindly reached around, and heard a _jangle_. I stopped, and reached for it. Keys! A set of keys!

My inner cheering stopped when I heard a _clunk _and footsteps. Sounded like a button…. I screamed again when the drills started up. I brought the keys in front of my face to see them. I moaned in horror when I saw there were probably thirty keys on here! They were all the same color and size!

I reached around the drills, and felt what I was looking for- a control ox!

I frantically tried random keys. It took me a while to try each one, because I had to find the lock and then remember which keys I had already tried. I was only half way through when I could fell the tips of the drills on my skin. I dropped the keys, screamed once more, and tried to thrash around. I couldn't move, so I had to sit and wait and cry.

The pain was unbearable. The drills were probably half an inch into my head, almost to the brain. I Screamed and cried and sobbed, but I couldn't pass out, and nobody helped me.

I felt it when the drills hit my brian. My body spasmed, it felt like my head was on fire, I could see rivers- no, waterfalls- of blood going to the floor, and then nothing.

**A/N: Me: You know, this is a great way to ease tension when I get home from track. **

**Fang: Yup! Just off an annoying a-hole over and over again!**

**Me: After I write this story, I feel a lot better. And I know you do to! You actually smiled at my joke last night!**

**Fang: Psh! Did not! *shifty eye movement***

**MooMoo: Yea, you did!**

**Rawr: We were there!**

**Fang: Yea… well… I… oh, who asked you anyway? *whacks with weasel***

**Me: *le gasp* Fang! Don't do that to my pets! *whacks with **_**my**_** weasel* Hmph. Shows him. Fact: I lost The Game at dinner. And so did you ;) Review if you know what's up!**


	3. The Venus Fly Trap and The Furnace Trap

**A/N: Me: Hey hey hey my peeps!**

**Fang: *headdesk***

**Me: We have… a sort of winner for the movie. 'Jamir" (anonymous review) said: **I like the whole saw trap thing,awesome! **But a day later MuseGirltheauthor said: **Are these from... SAW!

**Fang: Why is it sort of?**

**Me: I just feel like 'Jamir' didn't really "guess". But, he said it first… so I'm giving the prize to both of them!**

**MooMoo: Go Jamir and MuseGirltheauthor!**

**Rawr: Woohoo! (#) (::) [ ] ( \\\ ) (%) **

**Fang: What was that? **

**Me: Waffle, cookie, brownie, french baguette, and cake! Fact: I get major shin splints every track practice. It's because all of my events involve jumping/pounding on my legs. Ugh and I just lost The Game!**

Dylan POV

I woke up with a start. I looked wildly around, trying to figure out where I was.

I was sitting on a chair. My right eye hurt like a mother trucker. My chest had something strapped around it. I looked in a mirror that had been placed in front of me. My right eye was swollen shut. The device went around my head. The one half I could see, though, was angled at my face and was full of nails! I strained my head, and, sure enough, there was a back half too.

I gasped, my heart pounding wildly. All of a sudden, a TV in front of me turned on. A creepy puppet with black hair and red targets on his cheeks was staring at me. "Hello, Dylan. Let's play a game. Your pathetic life of spying on the flock disgusts me. Let's see if you have the will to survive." The video switched to a tape. He was lying on a table, while a figure in a cloak operated on… his head? "Don't worry. You are asleep and can't feel anything. There is a key to get that device off of your head before it kills you. Think of it as a Venus fly trap. I'll give you a hint. It's right before your eyes. Will you give up what you need to survive?"

The T.V. turned off. I saw some pictures on top of the TV. They looked like… X-rays. It showed a skull… with a key in it!

Oh my god! The key was in my head! "It's _right_ before your _eye_s!" I saw a scalpel sitting on the other side of the room. I hesitantly moved toward it. As I stood up, a thin cord snapped, and I heard a clock start ticking.

I ran to the scalpel and picked it up. I ran back to the mirror. And positioned the scalpel. And stood there. And stood there.

"Argh!" I yelled, throwing the scalpel. I just couldn't do it! I couldn't bring myself to cut open my eye!

I tried to rip the Venus fly trap off. I tried hitting it off the wall. I tried cutting it with the scalpel. Nothing worked.

"No! Somebody help me! No no no no! HELP! NO!" I was screaming the entire time.

I heard the ticking stop, and the trap snapped closed. Nails went through every square inch of my head- front, back, and side. I felt a split second of instant agony, swaying on my feet, before dropping to the floor in a puddle of my own blood

****

Dylan POV

I woke up in a small room next to a long, black box. I sat up, rubbing my head. Where am I?

M foot kicked something- a silver portable tape player. I crawled over to it and grabbed it. I pressed play.

"Hello Dylan. I want to play a game. I know how you helped lead those Erasers to the Flock. Disgusting. Right now, the room you are in is being pumped full of a deadly nerve gas. It will cause you to die a slow, painful death within two hours. But, there is an antidote in the furnace next to you. Crawl in and grab it. But remember, Dylan, once you are in Hell, only the devil can help you out."

What? My heart was pumping furiously, probably spreading the deadly gas. I looked a the furnace. It was ancient, and rusted all over. I shuddered when I realized what it was- a cremator.

I inched towards it. The door was already open, and I could see the syringe hanging down on a chain. I squeezed in through the door and belly crawled over to the syringe. Laying on my back, I reached up and grabbed it. When I pulled, I heard a squeak, then a _thud_. I looked at my feet- the door had closed!

I ripped the syringe off of the chain, and tried to scoot out. All of a sudden, a wall of fire erupted between me and the door. I shot backwards. Another row of flames appeared, then another. Each row was closer and closer to my feet. My shoes were already starting to melt.

I looked wildly around, trying to ignore the growing heat on my feet. I tried to kick the door open, but it wouldn't budge, and my feet started to catch fire.

I kicked around, trying to put out the flames. Now the flame had crept up to my pant legs.

I started to yell. "Anybody, get me out! HELP! Somebody, anybody, help me! Get me OUT!"

The fire spread up to my knees. I was in so much pain- it was all I could do to not pass out. I looked above me. There was a small window. Maybe…. I reached up and punched at it. It cracked, then it broke. I tried to crawl out of it, but my shoulders wouldn't fit. I cried out when I realized I would die in here.

As the fire spread to my torso, the last thing I saw was a small knob, half the size of my fist, above the door through the flame. A little devil was drawn next to it, pointing to it and saying 'Twist'.

Ah. Only… the… devil….

**A/N: Me: 6 traps down, 35 to go!**

**Fang: Wow… 41 ways to kill Dylan. **

**Me: Yup! Anyway… fact: For my birthday party this year, we're going to see Pirates of the Caribbean, then go back to my house and night swim.**

**Fang: Aw, am I gonna have to hide again?**

**Me: Yep.**

**Fang: In your closet?**

**Me: No. We need a new hiding place. The last time people came over, they almost found you when they wanted to try on my pageant dresses.**

**Fang: I love invisibility.**

**MooMoo: Except we can still see you. So nice try last night, Fang.**

**Rawr: Pretty pitiful, if you ask me.**

**Fang: o.O**

****


	4. The Needle Pit and The Razor Box Trap

**A/N: Me: Ohmigosh I'm sooooooo sorry it took me so long to post this chapter!**

**Fang: And she's going to give you a long rant about why it took so long….**

**Me: So, this past Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday (it's Thursday) I was at pom tryouts for my school. I only made it as an alternate, while several people (not to brag) that aren't as good as me made it just because their moms are friends with the coach. And alternates only do something if someone breaks something. On top of all that, I found out- not from my coach, but from another teammate- that because my coach "forgot that I would be missing so much practice the week before" I lost my varsity 4x200 relay spot for states. **

**Fang: Consider that her long fact of the day.**

**Me: It's just… what are people's problems? I just… UGH!**

**Fang: I think you need to blow off some steam by killing Dylan… again.**

**Me: That's a good idea.**

Dylan POV

I woke up in a large room. I sat up, rubbing my head. There was two twin beds next to each other in the middle of the room with a blanket over them. It looked like all little girl stuff. You know… pink. The floor was wood, and the walls were bare.

I stood up slowly, feeling kind of dizzy. I spotted a silver… tape recorder?... on the floor a few feet away. I walked over, picked it up, and pressed play.

A dull, rusty voice came out. "Hello, Dylan. I disapprove of your filthy drug habits. You seem to love needles, so I think you'll… appreciate this trap. The door behind you will close in two minutes once this tape stops. If you don't find the key, you will be trapped in here forever."

As the tape clicked off, I heard a small beeping. I whirled around, and indeed, there was a door. It was all silver and mechanical, with no knob. There was a simple countdown timer, already started, where the knob would go.

I jumped back around, and ran to the beds. Where is the key? As I was frantically searching, one of the beds shifted, and seemed to fall a little bit. I threw the beds aside, and gaped in horror at what was underneath them.

It was a pit, about six feet deep. It was filled half way up with dirty, disgusting, _used_ injecting needles. I shivered. I didn't want to go anywhere near there, but I had to get out somehow. Taking a deep breath, I jumped in.

The pain was instant. Hundreds of needles, stabbing me every square inch of my body. I was bleeding everywhere. I gasped and sobbed, but I had to live!

I wailed as I swept through the group of needles right in front of me. They all seemed to stab into my hands and arms. Every time I moved, I got jabbed a dozen more places. Needles were haphazardly sticking out of my arms and legs.

I kept looking through the needles, now screaming in pain. It seemed like every inch of my body was on fire, being stabbed hundreds of time over with dirt from the needles being rubbed in.

I couldn't find the key among the needles! I grew mire frantic, sweeping through needles all around, getting stabbed more and more.

All of a sudden, a flash of silver among the dull whites caught my eye. I reached stiffly over, no less than 10 needles sticking out of my right arm alone, and grabbed it. I hauled myself painfully out of the pit and hobbled quickly over to the door.

When I reached it there was three seconds left. I rushed to jam the key in the door, and dropped it. I picked it up, jabbed it in the lock, turned it, and… _click_. I was too late! I heard hydraulics hiss as the door sealed forever. I slumped against the wall in defeat. There was no way out anymore.

****

Dylan POV

I groaned as I came back into consciousness. I sat up, trying not to puke up my organs. I was in a small room, with metal walls and floor. Hanging from the ceiling was a small, clear box with a syringe in it. There were two holes in the bottom, surrounded by more metal.

"Let's play a game, Dylan." I jumped a foot in the air. The raspy voice came from nowhere, but it was everywhere. "I know about your little self-harming hobby. Let's help that, shall we? There is, right this instant, a toxin coursing through your veins. The antidote is right in that box. All you have to do is get it, Dylan."

I walked suspiciously up to the box. It looked harmless enough. This was too easy…. I guess I have no other choice. I reached my left hand in, and tried to grab the syringe. I grasped it, but fumbled with it. I dropped it, and it fell, causing some of the precious antidote to spill.

I panicked, and thrust my right hand in as well. I sighed when I had it safely grasped in my right hand. I went to pull out my hands, but something blocked their way. I pulled more forcefully, and gasped in pain. I saw blood running down both of my arms. I looked at the box more closely, and cried out when I realized I had been tricked.

The metal surrounding the hand holes was actually razors. They were set in a circular position, so that there was no problem going in, but when you wanted to get out….

I winced as the razors dig deeper into my wrists, unyielding to my tugs. The pain was terrible, like having both of my hands being slowly cut off.

I heard someone walk in. "Help me!" I screamed. "Please help me." I said again in a sob-whisper. The person didn't say anything, just walked away.

I cried out again when I realized I was going to die here. I gave a huge tug, but screamed when the razors hit bone. There was now a virtual waterfall going down both of my arms to the floor. I slumped against the box, poisoned and bleeding to death.

**A/N: Me: I feel better! Thank Fang!**

**Fang: Meh. Whatever.**

**Me: :P Ok guys… you know I love you all. You are all so awesome! But I don't think you guys are reading my author's notes… I put them up here just for you! So please read them! They're funny, informative, and sometimes have contests and polls and tuff in them.**

**Fang: She'll never let this go if you don't. For my sanity, I beg you! Please read them!**

**Me: Shut up, Fang. Fact: My final french exam, worth 260 points, is to write a children's story I french. How awesome is that? Mine's about a platypus that is teased by ducks and beavers. Then he saves the school. The end.**

**Fang: Of course. It would be a platypus.**

**REVIEW!**


	5. The Classroom Trap

_**IMPORTANT A/N READ PLEASE**_

**A/N: Me: *sniff sniff* I have some bad news, guys….**

**Fang: It's not the end of the world, B… god….**

**Me: I just feel terrible about it! You guys… this story is going on hiatus. And it's not one of those oh-I'm-actually-ditching-the-story-but-I-don't-want-to-say-that kind of hiatus. It's more like… hmm….**

**Fang: I'm-kinda-getting-bored-with-this-and-I-need-to-take-a-break-and-write-another-long-story kind?**

**Me: EXACTLY! So… here is the last Killing Dylan chapter for a while… just until I finish my other story! Fact: I hate coming into movies half way, even if I've watched it before. I need to start from the beginning.**

Dylan POV

I awoke in an empty, dark classroom. I was sitting in a chair, and chairdesks were all around me. There was a large, circular object in front of me on the floor. Haha… with all the wires coming out of it, it almost looks… like… a bomb…. Oh no.

A TV in front of me flicked on. A dirty puppet with scraggly, black hair and red bulls eyes on his cheeks was on the screen. "Dylan." it said, "You're in this test simply because of your foul behavior in your past life, and your multiple trips to juvenile detention. If you wish to survive, you need to break through the chains that are attached to your body. You must do so before a timer expires, and the nail bomb in front of you explodes. You have 7 minutes. Good luck."

I studied my body as the TV clicked off. Oh my god! How had I not noticed this before? There was a chain into each leg, shoulder, arm, hand, Achilles tendon, and one in my lower jaw. Each chain was surrounded by crusted blood.

I heard soft ticking, and I realized my time was running out. I painfully brought my hands together, clenching my teeth. I grabbed the chain in my right hand, and gave a mighty pull. I screamed as the small hook ripped out, blood shooting a good three feet away. Gasping, I pulled the one out of my left hand, yelling out as it came undone, shooting more blood onto the floor.

I paused, heaving. 2 down, 9 to go. How much time was left? I had no idea.

I grasped the ones in my shoulders, wanting as little pain as possible. Steeling myself, I silently counted to three. _One… two… three! _I yanked both chains hard, shrieking when they ripped away, along with chunks of flesh.

I almost blacked out. Literally- I swayed on the spot, blinking away dark spots. I shook my head, the chain in my jaw clanking. I had to get through this!

I tugged on the one in my left arm, feeling pain in my muscle. I closed my eyes, trying to stay calm, holding on to both chains. Again, I counted. I tore the chains out of my arms, screaming bloody murder when it tore out some muscle, too.

I had no idea how much time I had to live, how many chains were left in my body, or even how bad the nail bomb would hurt. I was so dizzy… I just want to… lay down… for… a minute…. NO Dylan!

To try and wake myself up, I braced myself for only a second before ripping out the chains of my legs, in my thighs. I screamed so hard my throat started bleeding. I would've fallen to my knees if it hadn't been for the chain in my jaw.

I was sobbing uncontrollably, barely conscious from blood loss and pain. I sat back down in the chair, and rested my head on the back. I was probably about to go into a coma or something, when the ticking got faster.

Time was almost up! I reached down, and with great difficulty, pulled the chains out of my tendons. I didn't even have enough energy to scream anymore- just a whimper.

I unsteadily stood up to walk away when a tugging in my jaw reminded me I had one chain left. The ticking was incessant, faster than my heart.

I grabbed the chain, pulling hard on it. All it did was knock a tooth loose. I tried again- just blood shooting out onto the already soaked floor.

I was no longer almost dead- I was wide awake with fear. I grabbed the chain with both hands, yanking on it hard. It wouldn't come out! It was no use- I was going to die from the beginning.

Then, the nail bomb exploded. I felt nails going into my body and every possibly place and angle, some going completely through my body. What blood was left in my body poured out onto the floor, then I fell with a lifeless _thump_.

**A/N: Me: That was pretty long, so I'll leave it at that. **

**Fang: Remember, we will come back to this story! Don't take it off of your favorites list or your alert list!**

**Me: Yea! We'll be back! Fact: I love movies like You Don't Mess with the Zohan, Click, Scary Movie, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans, Dance Flick, Superhero, and Disaster Movie- they're so stupid, they're funny!**

**Fang OK guys, see you in her story "La Belle Vie", and then back at "Killing Dylan"!**

**MooMoo: Bye!**

**Rawr: Byebye!**


	6. The Angel Wings

**A/N: Me: It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!**

**Fang: Oh joy.**

**Me: No… for real… killing Dylan is off of hiatus! **

**MooMoo: Yay!**

**Rawr: Woo hoo!**

**Me: *looks pointedly at Fang***

**Fang: ….**

**Me: *glare***

**Fang: *twirls one finger in a circle* **

**Me: Meh. Close enough *insert meme picture here* Anyway… it was in the top five of the stories you guys voted on, so I figured I might as well finish it. Get ready for more blood and gore!**

**Fang: Aren't you forgetting something?**

**Me: … Oh right! *ahem* Fact: My mom works in the police station at my state's (not telling which one) university. She's like… a dispatcher- she tells the cops where to go. Now on with the blood and guts!**

Dylan POV

I opened my eyes, only to immediately close them again. I counted to five, and re-opened them. Nope- I'm still screwed.

From what I could see, I was in some kind of dim warehouse room. There were boxes and graffiti everywhere, and the only light came form something behind me.

My eyes flicked to the television when it turned on. A hideous looking puppet appeared on the screen, with red eyes and targets on its cheeks. "Hello, Dylan. I want to play a game." I swallowed hard. "You are dead on the inside. Don't try to deny it- how else would you live as just a clone- a copy of another, unfortunate human being.

"Now, you've seen my story on the news, I'm sure. So you'll know what I am talking about when I say that the device you are hooked to will tear your ribcage off of your body."

And I was literally hooked. Examining the harness, I saw that it had two metal arms, folded up, behind me. I was hanging from the ceiling by chains, my weight supported by leather straps around my body. The two metal arms had pieces of metal sticking out, and they were attached to each individual rib by needles.

"You have one minute to retrieve the key from the jar of acid hanging in front of you before it dissolves, and one minute before the timer on that machine goes off."

As soon as the puppet stopped talking, another light came on, illuminated a jar suspended by chains. It was just in reach of my right hand, and was filled with an evil looking green liquid. A key plunked down into it from above, and immediately started dissolving and bubbling.

I panicked and thrust my hand into the jar. I screamed in agony- the acid immediately started burning my flesh. I tried to get the key, but the pain was excruciating, and I yanked it out- it was bloody and corroded, barely recognizable as a hand. I could see the bones of joints sticking out of bloody flesh and tendons.

Taking a deep breath, I thrust my ruined hand into the jar again. I screamed, fishing around in the jar, and kept screaming. I had never felt this much pain in my life- not even when wings were grafted onto me.

My dissolving fingers finally grasped the key, and I pulled it out of the acid. The air on my hand- which was more of a bloody stump by now- made the pain even worse- I wavered on the edge of unconsciousness for a few seconds.

With my good hand, I unlocked the padlock on the front of the harness. I shook it off, then realized something. There was a lock on the back of the contraption… which I couldn't reach. There were nine sets of needles imbedded into my ribs… which I couldn't get out. I was trapped. There was no escape from this trap at all.

A sudden movement from a doorway caught my attention. My eyes widened in shock- it was Fang. He casually walked in, and stood close to the doorway. "I designed this trap. You like it?"

I couldn't say anything. I was too shocked. There wasn't anything to say. In response, I reached up to hold the chains suspending me- with a yelp of pain from my right hand. A second later, the folded arms _un_folded, reaching outwards, taking the halves of my ribcage with them.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your favorite season, weather wise? I love fall- it's so crisp and cool :D And HAHAHAHAHAHA DYLAN IS DEAD!**

Fang stood and watched as all of Dylan's internal organs- stomach, intestines, lungs, heart- fell onto the floor; acid from the jar mixing with stomach acid, blood, and other fluids from Dylan.

Fang started whistling as he left the warehouse, closing the door behind him.

**A/N: Me: Most chapters will be two traps, but I figured this would be just a quick one to announce the end of the hiatus.**

**Fang: I like this chapter the best, because I kill Dylan myself.**

**MooMoo: Don't worry.**

**Rawr: That will happen a lot.**

**Fang: Yes! *fist pump***

**Me: You're really messed up. I bet you're not even ticklish.**

**Fang: I love killing Dy- wait, what?**

**Me: You heard me- I bet you aren't ticklish.**

**Fang: Um… I don't think so.**

**Me: Let's try! *tickles chin***

**Fang: Get off!**

**Me: *tickles stomach***

**Fang: Stop!**

**Me: Did your tickle spot get overused? Were you tickled too much as a child? Do we need to set up a foundation for over tickled children? (Fact: The Over Tickled Children Foundation came from poms camp.)**

**Fang: Hardly.**

**Me: *tickles rib cage***

**Fang: … HAHAHAHAH STOP IT HAHAHAHAHAHA HELP HAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Me: Success! I would like ten reviews please! R&Rzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! *returns to tickling Fang***

**Fang: HAHAHAHAHA HELP ME SOMEBODY HAHAHAHAHAHA!**


	7. The Freezer Shower and the Pig Vat

**A/N: Me: Reader- I am disappoint *insert meme here*. **

**Fang: B is not happy. I would suggest running for your life.**

**Me: So… I got one review last chapter. **_**One. **_**ONE! After this was like… I don't know… THIRD PLACE in the poll! You guys asked for it! So why didn't you review it?**

**MooMoo: Thank you to **mroandowmr4evrandevr**, who was the only person who reviewed.**

**Rawr: And it's completely normal that you enjoy this. Dylan is an idiotic douchebag.**

**Fang: How long do you think she'll keep up that yelling?**

**MooMoo: I don't know.**

**Rawr: I'm betting on 15 minutes.**

**Me: *shouting in the background* Hey! This is **_**my **_**A/N, and I will NOT tolerate mutiny! Bring me back now! **

**Fang: *brings back for fear of death by weasel* Are you done ranting now?**

**Me: *breathing slows* Yea… I think so. Sorry about that, guys, but it annoyed me.**

**Fang: Yea, you and us all.**

**Me: *turns head slowly* What? *twitches***

**Fang: Nothing!**

**Me: That's what I though. Anyway, back the business. Fact: I am a messy cook. Like, literally, the messiest cook you'll ever see. I made breadsticks and pie a couple days ago, and there was flower and measuring cups from the stove to the opposite counter!**

**Fang: Back to killing the flaming idiot that is Dylan!**

**Little kids: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!**

**Me and Fang: o.0**

Dylan POV

My hands were numb. I was completely naked. I was hanging by my wrists- that's probably why they were numb. I was surrounded by frozen meat. I was in a freezer. I was so cold that my bones ached. I couldn't stop shivering and chattering, my toes and fingers were going black, and I could barely breath through my freezing lungs. I didn't know how much longer I could take this.

My breath was so cold that it formed ice crystals instead of a mist. The frightened tears that were leaking through my frozen eyelashes froze hard onto my eyelids, making it almost impossible to see. I couldn't feel my wings, but when I tried to move them I heard the clinking of ice.

Out of nowhere, I hear a door open- and footsteps. "HELP! HELP- I'M OVER HERE! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!" I yelled, hoping that someone would hear me. I saw through frozen eyes a dark figure stand in front of me. They held something in their hand, and I heard a message play from it. It was a tape recorder.

"This is your next challenge. This is Dylan. He was a witness to your Max's disappearance **(A/N: Me: Just pretend :P)**, but he ran away. He refused to testify. He is one of the reasons she hasn't been found yet. He is going to be forever encased in ice, just like his cold heart. But you can still save him. There is a key, behind those frozen pipes in the corner. Just reach for it." The voice was a horrible, thin, raspy sound.

The man looked at me, then walked behind me. "Why should I save you?" he said, walking in a circle around me. I was about to reply when I felt a spray of _water _hit my back. It was so cold that it froze instantly to my skin, creating a cold fire that spread all over. I couldn't help it- I screamed.

"Please!" I begged, breathing hard. "Please save me! I'll testify, I'll help look-" I was interrupted by another freeing spray of water, this time freezing my fingers together into icicles. "I'll do anything!" I panted. Already I could feel frostbite, hypothermia, and every other illness brought on by coldness setting in.

"I don't think I can forgive you." the man said in a cold voice. It was almost as cold as my legs, which were becoming encased in ice. My whole body was freezing fire- like licking a piece of ice, and it sticks to your tongue. But it was all over, and I was being continually sprayed with water.

"Please- I'll freeze to death! Please!" I cried, yelling out in pain as another burst of water went over my head. I blurrily saw the man shake his head and walk towards the door.

All I could do as my body was slowly encased in ice was scream.

Fang walked back out of the room, his gloomy mood brightened by Dylan's pained screams.

**That one was hard to describe. Look it up on YouTube. QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- What is your favorite ice cream flavor? I love orange sherbet or cookies and cream.**

Dylan POV

I struggled against my restraints, only succeeding in bruising my neck, wrists, and ankles. I screamed for help, but no one was listening. I looked around the room- as much as I could because my head was strapped down- and I didn't like what I saw.

I was in some type of silo building- it was all metal, and there were no windows. There were also some wicked looking saw things right above me, and I sincerely hoped that they wouldn't cut me to pieces.

I heard a door open and footsteps come towards me. I looked up from the pit I was in, to see Fang of all people. "Fang! You gotta help me man! Please!" I yelled up. Fang looked down at me and sneered. Well crap.

Fang pressed a button on a tape recorder in his hand. A raspy, gross voice came out of it. "This man here was the one that let your lover's kidnapper get away." How did he find that out? "Find it in your heart to forgive him. The key is over there in that glass box. All you have to do is press that button, and all the things covering the key would be incinerated. Then, reach in and get the key, unlocking Dylan from his restraints."

I heard Fang scoff. "That's all Max's stuff- why would I incinerate that? Nope, I think I'm gonna let you die, Dylan."

"Come on, man! You got-" I was interrupted by a terrible siren noise. The saws above my head started whirring, and I peed my pants.

I saw a… rotten pig corpse? Gross! It flew along on a line, and dropped onto the saws. I saw what was going to happen too late to close my mouth. The rotten corpse was chopped up into a thick, gray liquid, which poured down onto me.

I spit chunks out of my mouth. "Fang! Help me! I'm gonna drown in rotten pig guts!" I coughed and retched- the smell was terrible! Already another pig was coming down the line.

Fang shook his head. "I hate your guts, Dylan, so why don't you drown in some?" He walked away, waiting for a door to open I resume. I went back to pleading as soon as my face was clear of unidentifiable pig parts.

"Man, I'm sorry. I'll help fix it, I promise! Just unlock me! Please!" I pleaded. My pleas fell on deaf ears. Although, maybe I just didn't hear a response because the pig smoothie was into my ears already.

As if I wasn't going to die horribly enough, another siren wailed, and the pigs came at double speed, the liquid being constantly dropped onto my sputtering form. I called out to Fang one last time as the liquid rose to frame just my face.

"Fang! Please! Let me go! HELP ME!" I choked out as the liquid completely covered me, and I couldn't breath. I thrashed around for a bit, trying to clear out of the liquid, but to no avail. Slowly, my lungs filled up with the juices of rotting pigs, and I drowned in corpse guts.

**A/N: Me: I love the sound of drowning in pig guts and being encased in ice in the morning!**

**MooMoo: But it's night.**

**Rawr: And there isn't a smell to typing.**

**Fang: They have good points.**

**Me: Have I told you recently that you all suck?**

**Fang: Yes, B- five times today.**

**Me: *smacks* Smart a**. Fact: I recently found out that it is illegal to own a platypus in captivity by Australian law :( My future is ruined :(**

**Fang: Is it against American law?**

**Me: You and my friends are so stupid! Where else would I get a platypus besides Australia?**

**Fang: Oh.**

**Me: Yea, oh. *sigh* I'll have to settle for a chinchilla instead. R&R please- at least 10, or I might not finish this story!**


	8. The Rack and The Knife Chair

**A/N: Me: Okay, you guys. One last chance. **

**MooMoo: We only got six reviews last chapter.**

**Rawr: But since we're nice, we'll update anyway.**

**Fang: What's this 'we'? I certainly want no part of this, and you guys only sit there and be creepers.**

**Me: You're such a debby-downer, emo boy.**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Okay! God! You're such an annoying thing!**

**Me: 'Thing'? Nice. Fact: For my pom team, we exchange spirit bags the day of a game. In my last one I got a bag of Turtle Chex Mix. I'm addicted now- IT' SO GOOD!**

**Fang: Well I wouldn't know since you never let me have any *pout***

Dylan POV

I moaned and stretched, feeling my stiff muscles protest. And the metal clamps around my neck, wrists, and ankles protested too. I opened my eyes and looked around- this was not the hotel near the safe house where I was NOT stalking Max. Where was I?

I was in a huge room, and most of it was in darkness. There was a single lamp hanging above me, and a few leading away to what probably was a door. I was upright and vertical, but I was strapped to a table. I couldn't move anything- it was all clamped to the table.

I whimpered softly- I had no idea what was going on, but I didn't like it at all. **(A/N: Fang: TOO BAD SO SAD! Me: ….) **

I jumped (well, kinda) when I heard the door slam open. I heard someone running over to me, and I gasped when I saw who it was. "Fang!"

He just glared at me, gave me the finger, flipped his stupid emo hair, and pressed play on the not-seen-until-now tape recorder in his hand. "Here's your chance, Fang." A scratchy voice rang out. "Before you is the man responsible for Max's disappearance. He was the one who orchestrated the whole thing. Will you find it in your heart to forgive him?" A light flickered on in front of us, a I saw a strange contraption. It was a string, hanging in a plastic box, attached to the trigger of a shotgun. A small key glimmered on the end of the string.

Obviously, if you pulled the key out, the trigger would be pulled also, and the gun would fire into your shoulder.

"The key to rescue Dylan is in the box. Life or death- make your choice." The tape stopped.

Fang snorted in disgust "Like I'm gonna get shot for you." He walked over to the box and leaned on it, casually watching me.

"Come on, man, please! You gotta help me! I'll pay you, I-I-I'll tell you where Max is! I'll do anything! Just please help me!" Fang watched me with cool composure.

I yelped when I heard a noise- it was a clanking and turning of gears. Looking over to my right, I saw where the sound was coming from. There were gears attached to the metal binding on my right calf. The gears were turning, thus twisting my leg. I hissed in pain as it twisted it half way around- it felt like a really bad Indian Sunburn mixed with dislocating your knee.

I suddenly screamed as the binding turned 180 degrees, and my right leg snapped like a twig. "Oh, God help me!" I shouted, looking at the blood shooting out of my leg, and the bone sticking out.

Fang smirked, probably enjoying this. Sick, sadistic, SOB. "Fang! Please! Get me outta here! Hurry!" I realized what the binding around my neck was for. I groaned and puked on the floor form pain and fear.

Fang shook his head, and grinned as the gears on my left leg started turning.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God!" I said, watching with horror as my left leg twisted farther and farther. I screamed and starting sobbing at the gut wrenching _CRACK _of my left tibia breaking in half and through my skin.

"Fang, please! Get the key!" I moaned, starting to shake. Fang didn't do anything. "Help me! Help me! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" I bellowed, trying to get someone's- anyone's- attention.

"Oh, God!" I sobbed as my right arm started to twist. This limb turned further, and the gears stalled for a moment. I had a flare of hope, but then my arm abruptly twisted too far and snapped. My elbow was now facing the ceiling, and I could see the bone fragments sticking into my muscles and skin.

I puked again, although there wasn't much to bring back up. I was crying steadily now, and Fang had a full out smile on his face. I tried to avoid looking at the blood and puke on the floor.

I sobbed and pleaded with Fang until my left arm snapped, and another gush of blood flew out of my body. I was hovering at the edge of consciousness, and pain engulfed my mind.

I panicked as soon as I heard the fifth (and final) set of gears start turning. "FANG! PLEASE! GET THE KEY! GET THE KEY! PLEASE HELP ME! SAVE ME!" I screamed. Fang, who was smiling so big I hoped his face would rip, waved goodbye.

The last thing I saw as Fang walking towards the now open door. Then my head twisted to the side, and it twisted further and further, until my neck snapped in two with the loudest crack yet. 

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is the funniest YouTube video you ever seen? I have too many to choose from, but probably something from Happy Tree Friends or Smosh.**

Dylan POV

I woke up with a start, hyperventilating. I looked around wildly, trying to figure out where in the world I was. I was in some sort of dim workshop, strapped to a chair. My arms were strapped onto the arms of the chair, and I felt pricks of pain as knives stabbed into my arms.

Directly in front of me, there was a panel, split in two. From both halves stuck out four knives, all facing each other- a wall of blades.

Beyond those was a man, sitting in a chair. He was watching me with interest, and grinned when he saw that I was awake.

"Ah, Dylan." he said pleasantly, in a hoarse and gravelly voice. "I've brought you here for a reason. You see, I've been studying you, and I know what a horrible person you are. So now is your chance to… redeem yourself. In order to release your restraints, all you have to do is push those panels aside. Yes, that means pushing your face directly through the knives. But it's a way it match your outer ugliness, to the ugliness within."

"You're crazy!" I spat, struggling to get free. But I only succeeded in cutting my wrists further, and blood dripped onto the floor. I yelped at the pain.

"You can't get out that way." the man said calmly.

I growled at him, and started yelling for help. "HELP! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? HELP ME! SOMEBODY!" I yelled until my voice was almost gone. But no one ever came.

The man in front of me waited through all of ym screaming. He was looking at me like someone would look at a toddler, waiting for them to realize that their hissy fit wasn't getting them anywhere.

I moaned and whined- quietly- and knew that I had no option. Steeling myself, I leaned forward and pressed my face into the blades. I yelled as they made the first cuts, and screamed as they got deeper.

But then I got lucky- the chair broke! The fricking chair _broke_! I leaped up, wiping blood off of my face, hoping the cuts weren't too deep. "I'll kill you!" I shouted at the man. The man didn't say anything. So, using the blades from my wrist restraints, I charged him.

But then the man side stepped, and I saw what I didn't before. Behind him, hanging form the ceiling, was barbed wire. A lot of it. So, not having time to stop, I barreled right into it, cutting every inch of my body to ribbons and getting stuck on it.

I heard the man slowly walk out and turn off the light, leaving me to die. Then, the only sound was the dripping of my blood, and my crying.

**A/N: Me: There ya go! Dylan dying more gruesome deaths.**

**Fang: This story never gets old.**

**MooMoo: Why no,**

**Rawr: No it doesn't.**

**Fang: You guys creep me out *inches away***

**Me: Stop being silly- they're cute! Fact: I love Mr. Bean- you know, the really old skits with Rowan Atkinson? Look 'em up some time.**

**Fang: B! You're pets are ding freaky stuff!**

**Both: *stow knife and candles* No, we're not!**

**Me: Stop being stupid, Fang. Last chance- 10 reviews or I'll end it! **


	9. The Scalping Seat and The Bedroom Trap

**A/N: Me: Well, you guys did it! WE got eleven reviews! Give yourselves a pat on the….**

**Fang: … back?**

**Me: Oh… what? Oh yeah, a pat on the back! You see, you guys….**

**Fang: *waves hand in front of face* Hellooooo?**

**Me: *blinks* Wha-? Oh hi! **

**Fang: What's wrong with you?**

**Me: I'm so obsessed with planning for (which is a dump-ton) and writing my new Lord of the Rings story, I can't focus on anything! Argh!**

**MooMoo: Maybe you should try knitting.**

**Rawr: Yea, that always helps Fang!**

**Me: Thanks, guys, but that really isn't- Wait. Helps… Fang?**

**Fang: *shifty eyes* They're liars!**

**Me: …. Wow Fang. Just… wow. Fact: I teach fourth and fifth graders pom dances, so I went to meet them at their game today. Too bad no one told me it was cancelled -.-**

I was struggling to breath, struggling to ignore the whopper of a headache I had, trying to understand where I was and why I was chained to a freaking chair. As far as I could tell, I was clamped by my feet and hands onto some metal chair contraption. Oh yea, and my hair was twisted into some metal rod type thingy, and already felt like it was tearing off my scalp!

I groaned, but the sound was muffled, because for some reason someone gagged _and_ put a smelly mask on me, and some sort of cloak or robes. So I was just stuck there, hoping someone would find me.

It was only a few minutes later that I heard footsteps walking towards the room I was in, and a familiar voice called out. "Anyone in here?" Fang! He would help me!

I heard him cuss as he walked into the room. He paused, before coming all the way over to me and ripping the mask off. His face twisted into a scowl.

I took this chance to look around. I was in a small, dingy room, in what looked like an apartment. I was strapped onto some sort of contraption, and my hair was indeed being pulled onto something behind me. I was in red robes, and there were a bunch of gears on the bottom of the seat.

Around me, on the walls, were pictures of me… and girls. Girls that I had pimped and stuff. Well crap. Fang saw them too. "Pig." he snorted, showing me the pig mask he had pulled off. **(A/N: Me: That's not the reason why it was a pig mask- Jigsaw's people wear pig masks and red robes to capture people for traps.) **Someone had tried to frame me for something.

"Fang- it's not what it looks like. Just… please, help me out. You-" I was interrupted by a TV flickering to life, and a hideous looking puppet came on.

"Hello, Fang. I want to play a game. Before you is Dylan- he is a criminal, and a horrid human being. I suggest you leave him to die, instead of giving into your impulse to save everyone else. Make your choice."

The puppet signed off, and I heard a timer start ticking. I heard gears turning underneath me, and then whatever my hair was tied into started twisting and pulling. The pain was unbearable- it felt like someone was ripping my skin off- which was what probably would happen.

I screamed and started to sob- this hurt worse than anything I'd ever done. Through the haze of pain, I looked down and saw numbers on the gears. "Fang!" I gasped. "Fang! There are… there are numbers on the… the gears. It's a combination! Get me out, Fang! HELP!"

I could now feel trickles of blood running down my face as my scalp was slowly pulled off of my skull. Fang, however, just sat there and watched, looking amused.

"Come on, you sick f**k! Get me out of here!" I shouted, crying out as another chunk of hair was ripped away. The gears were shuddering, pulling harder, endlessly twisting and pulling my hair off.

Fang smirked, shook his head, and actually laughed as a particularly violent twist ripped out another handful of hair and scalp. I screamed in agony.

So that's how it ended- Fang, looking smug and amused, watching me getting my skin peeled off of my head. Rivers of blood poured onto the floor, my hair ripped and snapped, and my skin peeled and tore.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your favorite Disney movie? I would have to say the Lion King, myself :)**

_**CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY I'M POSTING THIS WEEKEND- MY BETA IS SIERRA156, AND IT'S LORD OF THE RINGS MIXED WITH MR. SO READ IT!**_

Fang POV (Oh switchin' it up! Gettin' crazy!)

I walked into a seedy looking motel, which was supposedly owned by Dylan. That d-bag. I walked over to the front desk, narrowly avoiding being man handled by a drunk hobo. Sure enough, I saw Dylan there.

Suppressing my initial anger, I came up to the front desk. "Hey. I need a room for the night. Can I request room… 261?"

Dylan nodded- idiot- and handed me a key, distracted by the vomiting hobo by the door. I went up the stairs and entered the grungy hotel room. In it, I saw a box on the bed. In it was a pig mask, and a card with instructions. Reading them, I carefully memorized them before ripping the card into tiny pieces.

I pulled on the ask, took out my gun, and went back down to the lobby. "Come with me, and I won't shoot you!" I yelled, pointing the gun at Dylan. He looked like a deer in headlights, but went up the stairs anyway.

I opened the door to room 262, across the hall, and ordered him in at gunpoint. "Alright, now strap yourself into the bed." I shouted. "Do it!" I yelled when he just stood there. He shakily did so, wile I read another card I found. 'Give him the tools he needs to survive.'

I pressed play o the tape recorder that was next to Dylan on the bed. Billy the puppet's **(A/N: Me: That's his name.) **voice came out. He basically told Dylan that he must be punished for how he raped all those girls, and how he would have to press the button next to his fingers- both within a minute- in order to deactivate the trap. Only, the buttons sent mini scythe things into his eyes, blinding him.

While Dylan started blubbering, and the counter started, I looked around the room. All over the walls there were pictures of dead and mutilated girls, no doubt Dylan's handiwork. The bed itself had four posts standing straight up, each with a chain connected to one of Dylan's limbs.

His head was in a vice-like clamp, and the hooks to go into his eyes were poised and ready. Right now, he had his left hand wrapped around the button. Still sobbing and yelling for help, he shakily pressed the button.

His scream of sheer agony as the hook went deep into his eye was music to my ears. Unfortunately for him, he only had 25 seconds to steel himself and blind his other eye.

"Bye, Dylan." I said cheerily, waving. He glared at me through the blood shooting out of his eye. But then his timer ran out, and the chains on the bedposts starting cranking in, and his limbs were pulled out. Shortly, they were pulled too far, and his limbs, bones, tendons, and blood went flying everywhere.

Whistling, I walked out the door, wiping blood off my face.

**A/N: Me: Guess what guys! **

**Fang: ….**

**Me: I SAID GUESS WHAT!**

**Fang: ….**

**Me: **_**SAY 'WHAT?'! **_***holds up three weasels***

**Fang: What? Hehehe….**

**Me: There's only five more chapters of this story left :(**

**Fang: Good.**

**MooMoo & Rawr: *hold up more weasels***

**Fang: I mean, aww darn!**

**Me: Yea… but there'll still be plenty of blood and gore to come! Fact: I watched Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Lilo and Stitch, and A Bug's Life yesterday. It's fun being immature.**

**MooMoo: Ten more reviews,**

**Rawr: If you please!**

**Fang: Don't waste your time.**

**Me: *whacks with weasels***


	10. The Pedulum Trap and The Water Box

**A/N: Me: After this chapter, only four more left!**

**Fang: Aw :(**

**MooMoo: *pats back* Aww, poor Fangy.**

**Rawr: It'll be okay.**

**Me: Do you want to go get some ice cream?**

**Fang: *shakes head***

**Me: Do you want to go take a dump in Dylan's shoes?**

**Fang: *nods***

**Me: Okay, go take a dump in Dylan's shoes.**

**Fang: *runs off***

**Me: Cute kid. BTW, if you get that reference above you win the internets! No… for real… *poker face*. Fact: I tried to go on Club Penguin yesterday for the first time in three years, but I forgotted my password. But if anyone still has a Club Penguin account, my username is JrOlympian. Friend me :)**

I woke up, and was chained to a large table. I could see a large blade hanging above me, which would slice right through my abdomen. My arms and legs were strapped down, and I could see that my hands were positioned in the middle of two… oh geez… are those vices?

"Hey!" I yelled. "Can anyone hear me?" I listened, but there was no answer. "Hello!" I tried again.

"Hello, Dylan." a disembodied voice said.

"Who's that?"

"You were sent to prison for the murder of a young women… and you got out. You got out after only five years… for a technicality. Now that just isn't right." I stared to panic- this was one seriously messed up person. I don't even know what he's talking about!

"The blade above you is like a pendulum- it will swing from side to side, getting increasingly closer to your stomach. Within one minute, it will slice right through you." I puked over the side of the table.

"To stop it, all you have to do is press the buttons on both vices with your hands, allowing them to come down and completely pulverize your bones. You have one minute- live or die, make your choice."

I heard a tinny beeping as my time counted down. I used up a few precious seconds trying to get out of my restraints, but to no avail. I then tried reaching the buttons without putting my hands in the vices' way. Nope.

Taking a deep breath- and then whimpering a little- I pushed my right hand into the vice, and pushed the button.

My hand was instantly on fire. The heavy weights fell onto my hand, and turned all of the bones into dust. I saw blood and bone fragments leaking out from under the weight, dripping onto the floor. I dry heaved, seeing as I had already thrown up my lunch.

I sobbed, knowing that that kind of damage couldn't be fixed. Now I just had to do my left hand….

I put my hand in the vice, but pulled it out again. "Come on Dylan… do it for your life!" I tried (and failed) to stop hyperventilating. Thirty seconds to go. I placed my hand back under the weight, and pressed the button.

Now both hands felt like they were burning in h*ll. I screamed, my consciousness wavering for a few seconds. I had done it- I was going to live.

Trying to ignore the blood and tissue falling off of my crushed bones, I went to sit up, expecting my restraints to be lifted. But I was still strapped down, and the blade was still swinging.

"Hey! I crushed my hands, now let me go!" I shouted. Right then, the blade made it's first run over my stomach.

I hissed in pain as it made a cut, and dark red blood started running out of it. As the blade swung down again, it made the cut deeper. I yelled in pain.

"Hey! You nutjob- let me out of here!" There were only ten seconds to go, and the blade came down again, cutting over an inch deep. The agony was terrible, the deep red- almost black- blood steadily flowing.

I continued to scream as the blade sliced through my abdomen, until it cut all the way through, intestines and organs hitting the floor.

Fang POV

I walked out of the control room, observing my work. Stupid Dylan- he should've known the hand thing wasn't gonna do anything.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: How do you like your pizza? I like mine with extra cheese, barely any sauce, with stuffed crust. Yummy.**

"_**THE ROAD GOES EVER ON" IS MY NEW STORY. IT'S POSTED AS A MAXIMUM RIDE, LORD OF THE RINGS CROSSOVER; UNDER ADVENTURE AND HUMOR. SO GO READ IT!**_

I walked through the old and stained room, looking at the bloodstained floor and walls. I was supposed to be investigating this killing spree, but I was looking for Max- she was supposed to be in here.

I felt along the walls, until a section swung open. "Score." I muttered, stepping through, my gun ready. There was nothing, save a… tape recorder?... hanging from the ceiling.

Looking around, I ripped it down, and pressed play. "Hello Dylan. This room is actually your safe haven. I dis-encourage you from going any further." was the message that played in a rough, gravelly voice.

"F*ck that." I said, throwing it down onto the ground.

I walked maybe- I don't know… five steps?- before a figure lunged out of the dark , and stabbed a needle into my neck. Everything went dark.

I woke up, my head feeling like a ton of rocks. I slowly got my bearings. I was in a pitch black room, strapped to a chair by my ankles. Strangely, my hands were free. As I got steady, I realized that my head didn't just feel heavy- there was something on it.

As far as I could tell by exploring with my hands, it was some kind of box with a tube connected to it at the top.

Before I could even shout anything, I heard a gurgling, and then a rushing. All of a sudden, water started pouring into the box form the house. Panicking, I started tugging on the tube, banging the walls of the box, and tried pulling it off of my head. Nothing worked.

I tilted my head back to keep my mouth clear of the rising water. I reached into my pockets, searching for my gun. I cussed when I realized that they'd taken it.

Now the water was covering my mouth, so I breathed through my nose. I tried to think of way to get out of this, but I was coming up blank.

I tried bashing the corner of the box into the chair, but all I got was a bruised shoulder and water up my nose. Not the best thing when you can't breathe through your mouth either.

I coughed and spluttered, inhaling water. Cue more coughing, then more water inhaling. Soon there was no room in my lungs for air, and I couldn't breath anymore.

**A/N: Me: It was a bit short, but the traps weren't very complex.**

**Fang: We're back!**

**Me: Did you take a nice big dump in his shoes?**

**Fang: Yup!**

**MooMoo: And on his bed.**

**Rawr: And in his closet.**

**Me: … O-kaaaayyyy…. Fact: I have a whole list if all the Saw traps form the internet saved to my computer, and whenever I finish a chapter, I put a smiley face whenever I use a trap :)**

**Fang: You're a sick person.**

**Me: You can't tell me that you don't enjoy this too.**

**Fang: … This is true.**

**Me: Alright- you guys have been doing good! 10 more reviews! Ready… steady… fish! LOL you thought I was gonna say 'go', huh? Yea… well… GO! **


	11. The Flesh Scale and the Breathing Room

**A/N: Me: I;M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!**

**Fang: In case you couldn't tell, she's sorry.**

**Me: Two weeks is, like, the longest I've ever gone without updating. It's just that with work (which takes up all of my typing time on weekends), school (with AP reading homework), and poms (extra practices for homecoming), updating time has been really hard to get.**

**MooMoo: It's okay, B.**

**Rawr: We still love you!**

**Fang: I don't.**

**Me: *sarcasm* Ouch, Fang. That hurt my tiny heart. Why are you so grumpy this weekend?**

**Fang: Because of all of your complaining.**

**Me: **_**I**_** think it's that time of the month.**

**Fang: Wait… what?**

**Me: *face palm* I guess I'll have to explain it to you. Fact: My flash drive that I save all of my FF stuff to is a red and blue Kooky. Google it.**

I jolted awake, unsure of where I was. I wasn't in my bed- heck, I wasn't even in my house! All that I remember was waking up to a weird noise… then a… pig?

Looking around didn't give me too much information. I was in some sort of dark room… it had bars on it. Oh… was I in prison? I only stalked Max for a few days… weeks.

But my head felt oddly heavy. Reaching up, I felt some sort of metal framework around my head. It had two sharp and pointy… _things_ pointing right at my temples. I swallowed loudly. What the f*** was this?

I jumped when I heard a loud, harsh voice sound out from hidden speakers. "Hello, Dylan." This can't be good. "You are a predator- you prey on the weak. You take advantage of people, use them, and then toss them away. Not anymore.

"The goal of this game is to use some of you. Use the tools in front of you to cut off your own skin and bone, and toss it onto the scale. Should you put in ten pounds, you will survive. Should you fail; the screws positioned on your head will drill straight into your brain. Live or die, Dylan- make your choice.

With that last cheery thought, the voice departed. I stood up, walking towards the now brightly lit table, which was filled with knives, scalpels and the like. As I took a step forward, I heard a small _snap_, and then a ticking sound.

Leaping forward, I grabbed the first thing I saw- a serrated steak knife. Taking it in my right hand, I positioned it over my left fingers. I took a deep breath, trying to steel myself. Then another. And another.

My eyes teared up. "Come on, Dylan. Do it! Man up and just. Freaking. DO IT!" As I yelled the last words, I brought the knife down on my fingers. The tears ran down my face as I sawed through my fingers, trying to survive.

With an anguished cry, I cut through three of them. I tossed them onto the scale in front of me- one pound. Oh God- fingers weren't gonna cut it.

Whirling back to the table, I scanned the instrument. Butter knife- heck no! Scalpel- too small. Paring knife- skinning myself wouldn't do any good. Meat cleaver- yes.

Grabbing it, I looked at the timer on the chair I was in. 30 seconds to go. I went back to the scale, and positioned the meat cleaver above my arm. My hand shook as I held it aloft, trying to convince myself to cut off my own left arm.

I closed my eyes, and brought the cleaver down with a _thunk_. The pain was immediate and excruciating. I screamed aloud, and couldn't resist looking down at my arm. It was a mess- I had only cut maybe a third of the way in, and I still had to cut the bone (which I could see). My heart steadily pumped deep red liquid out of the deep wound, making a puddle onto the floor.

Swallowing bile, I raised the cleaver again, already woozy from blood loss. My arm wavered, before coming down again. This time, I hit bone, and I screamed so hard that I felt blood vessels in my eyes pop.

Now I was shaking hard- tremors racked my body, and my vision was black around the edges. I only had seconds left to finish this.

I shakily raised the meat cleaver, almost dropping it, above my head. I hew down with it, and there was a sickening _thwack_ as my arm was cut off. Picking it up, trying to ignore the blood pouring from my bloody stump, I turned to go over to the scale.

I slipped in the blood puddle, my dizziness not helping. The arm flew across the small room, and the timer stopped ticking. There was a moment of awful silence, and then the drills started whirring. I screamed and sobbed, trying to take the machine off. But the drills relentlessly twisted, and the screws pierced my skin.

My panic increased, and I was thrashing n the ground in my own blood. Then the screws hit brain, and I was dead.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your signature (if you have one) on your text messaging? Mine is 'FIELDOFSCREAMS HAPPY HALLOWEEN!' JSYK, there's, like, five Field of Screams on the East coast. You don't know which one I work at. You still don't know where I live! HAHA!**

I turned in my sleep, only for something to constrict my ribs and prevent me from moving at all. My eyes snapped open, only to see darkness around me. All I could see was illuminated by a small light directly above me. I was held upright, with clamps on ether side of my torso. There was a chain hooked to a clamp on each wrist and ankle.

"Hey!" I yelled. "Where am I?" No one answered. I growled softly, tugging on the chains.

I yelped when another light snapped on, showing me a TV screen. On it was a hideous thing. It ha white skin, scraggly black hair, blood red eyes, and red targets on its cheeks. I think it was a puppet.

"Hello, Dylan," he said. I want to play a game. Positioned next to you are two clamps, one on each side. They are connected to a respirator. It measures how much you breathe. In this game, every time you take a breath, the clamps close further, crushing your torso. If you survive three minutes, then you survive. Live or die, make you choice."

The TV flicked off, and I instinctively gasped in a breath. It whooshed back out again when the clamps suddenly squeezed my chest. Already I could feel bruises forming.

I immediately took a deep breath, ignoring the increased pressure on my ribcage, and held it. I glanced at the timer above the door- fifteen seconds in. I continued to hold my breath, watching the regulator warily. Nothing moved or made a sound.

I held my breath for about a minute and fifteen seconds. So, half done. I pulled in another deep breath. Except the clamps pulled in further, bending my ribs and cracking them a bit. I hissed in a breath, but I couldn't fill my lungs all the way up already. So I held my breath, lungs only half full.

I got to two minutes fifteen seconds in before I had to breathe again. The breath whooshed out of my lungs, and I sucked in more. The clamps contracted again, and a few of my ribs snapped.

I screamed in pain. It's bad enough getting a broken rib- try five at once. I remember to hold my breath, so once more I inhaled. The clamps squeezed mercilessly, and I could only hyperventilate- there was barely any room in my squished lungs,

The clamps closed tighter and tighter, before eventually my whole ribcage shattered, pelting my insides (and my skin) with sharp pieces of bone. Blood dripped onto the floor, and my lungs were popped **(A/N: Me: I don't even know if that's possible.) **

I didn't need to breathe anymore.

**A/N: Me: So… only three more chapters left.**

**Fang: Aw, man!**

**Me: Yea, it'll be sad to see this go. But maybe someone (or we) could do another one in the future. Like… all the deaths from Friday the 13****th****, or something.**

**Fang: Ooh! Or from Nightmare on Elm Street!**

**MooMoo: Like the girl who was thrown to the ceiling and slashed open!**

**Rawr: Or when Johnny Depp get's blended up in his bed!**

**Me: If we do do something like that, it will be WAY in the future.**

**Fang: OK *insert meme face***

**Me: Fact: My ring tone is Billy the Puppet (from Saw) saying "Congratulations. You're still alive. People are so ungrateful to be alive. Not anymore." LOL**

**R&R- ten reviews, please!**


	12. The Boiler Maze and The Acid Room

**A/N: Me: I love you guys. But your amount of reviews is kind of disappointing :(**

**Fang: She gets like this every time she doesn't get her way. It's always 'whine whine whine'**

**Me: Do not!**

**Fang: Do too!**

**Me: Do not!**

**Fang: Do too!**

**Me: Do not!**

**Fang: Do too!**

**Me: Do not!**

**Fang: Do too!**

**MooMoo: How long will this go on?**

**Rawr: I'm guessing about five minutes.**

**Me: Do too!**

**Fang: Do not!**

**Me: HAH! I win, because I have superior intellect. **

**Fang: -_- FML**

**Me: Wuv you! Fact: I LOVE any kind of meat. I would literally kill myself if I had to go vegetarian. No offense to any vegetarians, of course! :)**

"Live or die, Dylan, make your choice." the tape concluded. I couldn't do anything but sit there for a few minutes, on the verge of hyperventilating. According to the tape I just heard, I had 90 seconds to find my way out of this huge maze, in the middle of a boiler room, or I get shot with a metal pipe through the skull.

There was a rectangular box strapped to my chest, which looked like a bomb. But the voice-straight-out-of-a-horror-movie that came from the tape said it housed a timer and a sharp metal rod. If the time ran out, and I had not reached the end of the maze, the sharp rod would shoot upwards, piercing my brain. Lovely.

So I guess I had no way to escape except to try. I mean, I'm a super amazing bird kid- how hard could a maze be?

I found the answer out the hard way. I started out on the maze, which I had to crawl through because of a wire "ceiling". As I was passing by a pipe, it shot a scorching geyser of steam right into my face.

"Yow!" I screeched, touching the burnt and tender skin of my right cheek. I glared at the pipe for good measure, but I moved on before it could burn me again.

I soon found myself at a junction. Right… or left? Unfortunately, while I was debating with myself, another shot of steam blasted onto my exposed left wing. _That_ hurt. Also sucking for me was the fact that it not only shot me with steam, it kept going. So the longer I stood there- well, crouched, but whatever- the worse I got burned.

So I booked it to the right as fats as possible. I peeked down at the timer on my chest. 70 seconds to go. I was doing pretty good. But just as I was thinking that, steam burst out from a pipe on either side of the path, blocking my way.

I deliberated for a few seconds, but I was nearing the 3/4 left mark. So I steeled myself and pushed through the steam, shouting in pain as it scorched both sides of my torso.

I was routinely blasted with steam- from either side, above me onto my back, below me onto my stomach…. Each burn got worse, especially the areas (like my arms, torso, and wings) that got burned over and over again.

I was raw and bleeding all over, ever movement hurt like a mofo, but I had only 30 second left. I didn't know how much of the maze was left- everywhere looked the same.

Suddenly I came upon a junction… left… or right? Then a jet of steam blasted onto my left wing, singing the last of the feathers off. I screamed in agony- my raw and ultra sensitive skin had nearly been burned off on my wings.

I then screamed again when I realized that this was the same junction I was at in the beginning. I had come around in a big circle! With dismay I glanced at the timer- 10 seconds left.

With all of my strength left, I barreled through the maze, turning this way and that, ignoring the burnt skin and flesh falling off of my bones. I heard a small click- oh, that must mean that my time i-

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your favorite horror movie? I love the ORIGINAL Nightmare on Elm Street, ORIGINAL Friday the 13th, and Twilight. LOL JK that last one's actually too scary for me ;D**

**This one's short, but sweet.**

I limped into the room, warily looking around. I saw two cages, one on each side of the room. The one to my right held Fang. Ew. The other one held-

"Max!"

"Dylan? Why are you here? Did you put us in these cages? LET US OUT!" she yelled. Wow, she was hot when she was angry.

"Hey, Dill Weed- stop staring. You look even more like an idiot." Fang called out. I ignored him.

A voice sounded out from hidden speakers. "Dylan has ruined your life and your flock, Max. Dylan has tried to take your woman, Fang. Now you have a chance to get rid of him- for good. Live or die, make his choice."

Max and Fang walked over to the back walls of their cages, poising their hands over big levers that literally said "Live" or "Die". I started panicking.

"Please, guys- I'll do anything! I'll leave you alone, I'll leave the flock I'll tell you where Dr. HG is hiding- anything! Just let me live!" I begged.

Max glared at me, but I could see the indecision in her eyes. Her hand started shaking, and her eyes welled up. Ducking her head, she let her hand fall. "I'm sorry." she whispered. "I can't kill unarmed people."

"Oh, thank you Max! I'll do anything- I owe you. Fang, man, li-"

"No, you listen, you little cockroach!" he snarled. "Ever since you came, our lives have gone from bad to worse. I almost died- heck, I did die- because of your precious Dr. HG! And you're trying to take Max away from me! She might not be able to kill you, but I can."

Fang POV

I watched as Dylan's eyes filled with horror, and he opened his mouth to talk again. I slammed down the lever, and watched as a row of needles, attached by tubes to a vat of hydrochloric acid, swung down form the ceiling. Dylan didn't even have time to duck.

The needles swung down and hit perfectly in a row all down his back. Dylan shouted and gritted his teeth as he was slammed against my cage wall. Then the fun began. The vat began pumping the highly corrosive acid into his body.

I watched with satisfaction as he screamed and writhed so much that he looked like a dying wild animal. Steam rose from his body as his inside melted. I saw holes start to appear in his skin, and blood came pouring out of them, his eyes, nose, and ears.

It was finished within seconds. All that was left of the Dill Weed was a dissolving pile of blood and clothes, with steam and a foul smell rising. I laughed.

**Me: Geez, what a sick sadist you are, Fang.**

**Fang: You trying to tell me that you wouldn't do the same thing?**

**Me: … Nah, I probably would.**

**Fang: That's what I thought.**

**MooMoo: We have nothing interesting to say.**

**Rawr: NARWHALES ARE THE UNICORNS OF THE SEA!**

**Everyone else: …. O.o**

**Rawr: What? It's true.**

**Me: … O-kaaaaaaaay. Fact: I found three new shows to follow: Once Upon a Time (ABC channel), Terra Nova (Fox I think), and Grimm (I have no idea what channel).**

**Fang: R&R please… blah blah blah… 10 reviews this time… blarghity blargh blargh… can I have my money now?**

**Me: *hands over $5* Good boy! *pats head***

**Fang: *growls***


	13. The Sliding Saws and the Metal Casket

**A/N: Me: I hope you guys had a lovely Halloween- I know I did :D**

**Fang: And I thoroughly enjoyed eating the three pounds of candy that you and your siblings didn't like. **

**Me: You already ate it all? o.0**

**Fang: …Yea….**

**Me: It takes me almost a year to finish my Halloween candy! (Fact)**

**MooMoo: But you don't even eat candy that often.**

**Rawr: And you rarely eat chocolate.**

**Me: Yea… but still… wow Fang, you are fat!**

**Fang: What! **

I came to in a really uncomfortable position- **(A/N: Fang: HAH! That's what your mom said! Me: *face palm*) **I was strapped with my back to a chair, and I was facing a sleeping Fang. Above me, I saw Max asleep, strapped to a wooden board, hanging face down. But in between me and Fang/ under Max, there were three saws on a sliding piece of wood. Each Fang and I had one pointing at us, and one was pointed straight up at Max.

"Hey! Max! Wake up!" I yelled. She stirred, but unfortunately Fang woke up first.

"Hey… what the? Dylan- what did you do?" He glared at me.

"Why do you always assume everything is my fault?"

"Because it usually is." Well… he had a point. Just then, Max blearily blinked her eyes.

"Wha…?" she muttered, taking in her surroundings.

"Max! It's me, Dylan! Do you know where we are?" I asked.

"No!" she said. Then she saw Fang, and her eyes widened. "What's going on?"

"I was just asking Dill Weed here the same question." Fang sneered. The blood was already rushing to her head.

Whatever she was going to say was cut off as a squeaky tricycle rolled in. On it was a medium sized puppet, with a white face, red eyes, black hair, and red targets on its cheeks. It opened his mouth, and a rusty, grating voice came out.

"Hello Dylan, Fang, Max." it said. "This love triangle has been going on for too long. Fang, you hate Dylan; Dylan, you hate Fang. The girl you are fighting over is right above you. Now, you have a choice. You can either push the saw at the man across from you, hoping to kill the other and win Max. Or, you can leave the board alone, and Max will be lowered onto the blade, sawing her in half."

Fang's usually blank expression changed to one of horror. Max's eyes narrowed at the 'win Max' part, but she, too, showed fear.

"You have 60 seconds before Max is lowered onto the middle saw. Live or die, make your choice." The tricycle slowly rolled out.

All three of us jumped (well… as much as we could) when the saws roared to life, spinning quickly. Max started to panic. "Okay.. maybe if we move the saws kind of to one side, it won't hit anyone! Or… maybe he was fibbing, and it won't really hit me!"

"No." Fang said quietly. "I'm gonna end this." I nodded.

Fang immediately started pushing. The saw roared towards me, but with my superior reflexes and raw strength, I shoved it back towards Fang. He had to lean back in his chair as far as he could to avoid being hit, and Max quietly yelped.

But Fang looked out to kill, and he pushed back against me. The saws stalled in the middle of the platform- Fang was holding his own. But, inch by inch, my stronger muscles slowly advanced the blade towards Fang. I could see him shaking, sweating, and gritting his teeth, trying to hold it back.

That's when I heard Max call my name.

Fang POV

Dylan and I both stopped pushing the saws when we heard Max yell "Dylan!" The idiot looked up, his face filled with hope. I saw Max swallow.

"I love you!" My mouth dropped open. Okay, I was NOT expecting that! Dylan's face lit up.

"You do?" he shouted, smiling hugely. Max weakly smiled back at him. This fueled my anger. Using all of my strength, I heaved the saw towards Dylan. He wasn't ready, and the blade sliced cleanly through his torso, blood pouring onto the floor.

The saws stopped, so the only sound that could be heard was the dripping of the blood and organs out of Dylan's body.

The chains strapping Max to the board were untied, and Max shot out her wings to avoid crashing down onto the floor. Ruffling her feathers into place, she ran over and gave me a hug. I didn't return it.

"I thought you loved Dylan." I spat. What? I'll admit, I was jealous.

"I just said that to distract him! I guess you didn't see my winks and hand gestures." Max giggled. I raised an eyebrow, but she seemed truthful. So I cracked a smile, and kissed her hugely, right in the middle of Dylan's blood puddle.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Did you go trick or treating? I did :)**

**Read my newest stories 'The Road Goes Ever On' (an epic journey complete with epic battles and Fax) and 'I am a Vampire!' (complete with a dark and sexy vampire, and LOTS of Fax)**

**This next one is really short, but Dylan still dies a gruesome death :)**

I woke up hunched in a cage, suspended 10 feet off the floor. From the dim illumination, I could see that the floor under me was a forest of metal spikes.

I couldn't see anybody, and no one responded when I called out. So, looking around, I spotted my only chance of getting out- a giant hanging lever.

I yanked it, and the bottom of the cage opened, and I fell towards the metal spikes. Oh, shi-

**A/N: Me: Another chapter to go… one left :((((((((((**

**Fang: You have four stories right now!**

**Me: I know, I know! That cancels my plans for NaNoWriMo. Oh well- I'll start next year.**

**Fang: Procrastinate much?**

**Me: You know it. Fact: I got 5 lbs of candy. I LOVE Halloween so much!**

**MooMoo: Yea.**

**Rawr: We know.**

**Fang: Now it's on to Christmas.**

**Me: NO! Thanksgiving is next! Why do people _always_ forget that?**

**Fang: Well… it does have good food….**

**Me: You thought that one dinner at Anne's was good? Wait until you see MY family's dinner!**

**Fang: Oh, lord….**


	14. The Fishing Line & the Impalement Wheel

**A/N: Me: I promised myself I wouldn't cry… *sniff***

**Fang: *sniff* Me too.**

**Me: I just can't express how much you guys mean to me- I love you all so much! From your helpful tips (thanks Random!), to your weird fantasies (WafflzRwolves… you are messed up… but in a good way :D), to your passionate hate towards eradicating Dylan from the face of the Earth (which was pretty much everyone).**

**Fang: I really loved this story *sniff sniff***

**MooMoo: Yea, me too :(**

**Rawr: I liked killing Dylan over and over :((**

**Me: We all did. But all good things must come to an end. But you all should be glad I'm posting this because Fact: I'm sick and I can barely talk :P**

**Fang: It's been nice!**

**Me: *whacks with a weasel* Shut up! Don't think I can't still hurt you! Anyway, without further ado, I give you: *drumroll* the last chapter of the bacontastic epicness that is KILLING DYLAN!**

I was having the worse day ever. I mean… waking up strapped to a chair is bad enough. But then add in the fact that I was surrounded by sharp metal rods, and that there was _something _hanging down in my throat. Yea. It was going to be one of _those _days.

So I just sat there for a bit, occasionally shouting to see if anyone could hear me. I may have occasionally sobbed, and/or screamed… but that's beside the point. And… great. I'm arguing with myself. Lovely.

While I was trying to keep myself from going insane, I saw none other than Fang walk into the room. It was hard to do actually articulate words with this thing in my throat, but I tried.

"Fan! Man! You otta elp me!" I choked out. Literally- my gag reflex was going crazy.

Fang smirked, and pressed a button on a tiny, handheld tape recorder he had. A chilling voice rang out. "Hello, Fang. I want to play a game. I think you know Dylan. Now it's time to see what you can do.

"As you can see, there is a piece of fishing line hanging out of Dylan's mouth." So THAT'S what was in my throat! "Attached to the fishing line is a hook with a key on it. The hook rests in his stomach now. All you have to do, Fang, is pull it out. You have 60 seconds to unlock him before the rods pierce his head and neck. But every time one of you makes a sound above 20 decibels **(A/N: Me: I don't know.)**, the rods advance closer to Dylan. Make your choice."

There the tape ended. "So, uh, I guess I'll just _pull _the key out." Fang said, stepping closer. He had a smile on his face, which was actually _very_ creepy. I squirmed in my seat. This was not gonna end well for me.

Fang grabbed the end of the fishing line, winked at me, and gave a vicious tug upwards. I choked and gasped loudly as the hook ripped into my stomach wall. Letting out a pained groan I shut my eyes.

Fang "accidentally" let it swing back and catch onto another part of my stomach. "At are you doin?" I hissed in pain. Fang just flashed me another smile, and tore the hook off of my stomach. I couldn't help it- I yelped in pain. The sharp rods jerked forwards towards my throat. Eying them, I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself down.

Fang seemed to be enjoying himself. He worked the hook loose from my innards (oh God) and actually maneuvered it into my throat without making me bleed anymore. That is, until he "accidentally" let the hook swing and catch onto another part of my stomach.

This pain was ten times worse. I shouted, and the rods moved forward half of a foot. I retreated into hyperventilating, trying to ignore the blood pooling in my ravaged stomach.

Fang then started to harshly yank on the fishing line, gouging out more of my flesh each time. I screamed in agony, and just barely controlled it when the rods leapt forward towards me.

Letting out a whimper, I tried to estimate Fang's progress. He had a sick smile on his face, and he had a little over a foot of (bloody and disgusting) string out. So… he was about halfway. Oh, god.

He then got a new idea- to slowly drag the hook up my throat, letting it catch on _everything_. I couldn't help it- I started screaming. The rods inched closer, but the pain was too much.

I guess Fang saw the end of the line (and how close the rods were to my skull), because he then pulled on the string with all of his might, and the hook/key soared out of my throat. I started screaming harder than I ever have.

The hook was covered in bits of bloody flesh, and blood came spurting out of my mouth. I watched Fang walk out, throwing the key into a far corner of the room. The rods were almost upon me, and then my timer went off. I screamed at him "You mother fu-"

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What do you do when you're sick?**

I was eyeing the three rods in front of me warily. They formed the shape of a triangle, positioned a foot in front of my face. So I guessed that they would go into my eyes and mouth. Lovely.

"Hey! Can't anyone hear me?" I yelled. No answer. Just like for the past hour. All of a sudden, Fang came strolling in. "Well, well, well- look who's here!" he said. I flipped him off from where my hands were strapped down next to me.

Fang ignored me, and pressed a button on a tiny tape recorder. I guess he had already listened to most of it, because I only caught what seemed to be the last part.

"-have 60 seconds before the rods stab into Dylan's eyes and throat. Make your choice, life or death."Fang turned towards me."Hmm… should I save Dylan, or let him die a slow and painful death? What a hard ch- DIE!" he shouted.

I heard a small, electronic _beep_, and then ticking. Gears started whirring and clanking, and the rods started to crepe closer to my face.

"Come on, man, why do you hate me?" I tried to plead with Fang.

"Um… maybe because you tried to steal Max!"

Oh. That. "It was all a big… misunderstanding!" I said in a consoling tone, trying to ignore that fact that three deadly sharp metal rods were nine inches away from making my face into a jack-o-lantern.

He snorted. "Right, and I'm a fairy unicorn princess. Please, Dylan- I know you "love" her," he sneered, "but she's mine. Okay? You haven't been there for her everyday, saved her everyday, you haven't done _anything _for her!"

"Dude- chill!" I was starting to panic. "We can work this thing out! Just get me out of here!"

"You know what? I think I will save you." Fang said.

"R-really?" I asked hopefully. 6 inches away from me.

"NO."

I gulped. "Please!" I begged. Fang leered me before turning around to wait by the door of the small room.

Whimpering, I tried to get out of my restraints. But, they were still too tight. Groaning in fear, I looked for anything that could help me. Unfortunately, the room was empty.

The rods were now only a few inches away from my face. I started to scream. I mean… wouldn't you?

"Oh, I wanna see this!" Fang said, coming back to stand in front of me. I kept screaming as the rods got closer and closer and squeezed my eyes shut. My timer stopped, and so did the rods. I opened up my eyes, looking at the rods suspiciously.

Fang looked annoyed, and hit the machine. There was a big _thud_, and then the rods shot right int-

**A/N: Me: It's been a lovely adventure guys. But I'll see you in my other stories… **

**hopefully!**

**MooMoo: Like 'I Am a Vampire!'**

**Rawr: Or 'The Road Goes Ever On!'**

**Me: And don't forget 'La Belle Vie'! So I'll post the usual thank you chapter tomorrow. Thank you all so much for your love and support- and since it's the last chapter, could we get to 80, or even 85 reviews? Pweety pwease?**


	15. Thank You

Thank you guys sooo much. You guys made this story fun, and I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. New this story, I have some rewards! Yay!

The award for most reviews goes to… Random1324, with 11!

The award for funniest reviewer goes to… MaximumMik6325!

The award for most creative reviewer goes to… WafflzRwolves !

The award for most vicious reviewer goes to… maxride all the way fan!

Um… I can't think of any more awards… give me ideas and I'll use them at the end for the next story!

1) 20 Toes

Iggyismyhotpyro

AngelofDarkness

Whisper13

Sierra156

Random1324

wingedgymnast12

MyrtleFalls

Bizzy98

person

2) MaximumMik6325

random

Random1324 (x2)

Mainstay

AngelofDarkness

maxride all the way fan

MuseGirltheauthor

Bizzy98

Jamir

3) maxride all the way fan

Random1324

mroandowmr4evrandevr

MyrtleFalls

MuseGirltheauthor

Someone who left no name at all

4) MuseGirltheauthor

Random1324

5) None :((((((((

6) MyrtleFalls

Sierra156

7) Wingsthatfly

WildHeart22

wolfhead

zammielicious98

Random1324

Sierra156

Robert de Spaz

MaximumMik6325

8) CrazinessEqulasAwesome

MaximumMik6325

Unwillfully-Indescribable

Robert-de-Spaz

Wingsthatfly

Random1324

Someone who left no name at all

faxtothemax51799

Someone who left no name at all

9) MaximumMik6325

Random1324

Someone who left no name at all

10) CrazinessEqulasAwesome

Robert-de-Spaz

mroandowmr4evrandevr

faxtothemax51799

Random1324

MaximumMik6325

Someone who left no name at all

11) Random1324

wolfhead

12) hahayoujustgotpownedbyagirl

Random1324

Someone who left no name at all

bookworm

mroandowmr4evrandevr

CrazinessEqulasAwesome

Someone who left no name at all

13) WafflzRwolves

mroandowmr4evrandevr

Random1324

Wingsthatfly

14) wolfhead

Wingsthatfly

mroandowmr4evrandevr


	16. Facebook Page!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that I have created a Facebook page, so go and like it right now!

You'll receive funny quotes and sayings, crazy sh*t that happens to us, updates on stories, hints to upcoming stories, polls, and another way to ask me questions and talk to me!

Just search It's Fnicking Awesomeness- it's the only one!

P.S. Names and such will not be used creepily/scarily/for spamming/etc.


	17. Tumblr Blog!

Hello MR Fans! This is an announcement that I have created a Tumblr blog. Not just any Tumblr blog- a Maximum Ride role play group blog.

What this means is you can go on Tumblr, and message me as a MR character (or an OC- I don't care) and our characters can talk, interact, and have adventures and stuff.

I know it sounds kinda dumb, but trust me- it's not. I'm already part of an Avengers role play group, and it's so much fun writing as your favourite character while interacting with your other favourite characters.

For an example of an amazing role play group, go here (no spaces, obviously): kneel-to-your-king. tumblr

So, what I would like you guys to do, is go on Tumblr and create an account of a MR character (or make your own mutant, white coat, or whatever!) and then message and follow me at 'please-do-not-fang-bang' (I'm a Fang, hehe). Then send me an ask, and out characters will do stuff!

If you already have a Tumblr, you can still interact with me as that, or just make another one using a different email (I, for one, have three different accounts :3).

I have never seen anything like this for the Maximum Ride fandom, so I think it could be really big and could be so much fun! Thanks so much!


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